THE CHRISTENSEN FAMILY CHRONICLES
Circa 2009
Our Annual Approximation Of The Truth…
Eagle Bend Crop Report – 2009: While in truth we did our best harvesting in the WalMart produce section, the Colonel’s gardens were worth the effort this season. The box score? Tomatoes; pretty darn good, more variety, less fauna interference, and like their planter, when they were potted, they did better. We learned that deer don’t care for Roma tomatoes – according to the messages they left us. The Strawberry Patch -- Our various airborne visitors picked it clean, then reconstituted it and dropped it on our cars. Summer Squash -- 0 for 11. We suspect this was where the “deer and the antelope played” the most. On the upside we learned that in Kentucky, you can drop these creatures at will if they are in your garden, neighbors too I heard. Peppers & Onions -Yup, red, green, and some that couldn’t decide, we onioned and peppered enough to fiber our salads and stock up the salsa supply.
Things That Are The Same: We still, for the most part, lie down when we sleep.
Things That Are New: It certainly isn’t us this year, but we (read - he) built yet another stone planter around the edge of the house for her to put stuff in, (yes, it grew…)
Her Hero – OK, the ugly part - He turned 3-score this year, celebrating with a family gathering at Jake’s place in Chelsea, MI. Many tacos and much pizza were consumed along with an artfully grandchild-decorated cake. Some behavioral adjustments are now necessary, e.g. when he bends over to tie his shoes, he looks for other things to do while he is down there. His most evolved grandchild joined them in KY for her spring break to try out for the all-to-soon-to-be filled position of primary care-giver. A second interview is scheduled for the Christmas break. Travel-wise he made a quick trip to Utah (can’t remember exactly why), and we are pleased to announce that by the time you read this our globe-hopping couple will be or have been in Hawaii celebrating their shortly-after-that 40th anniversary as legalized roomies. Additional excursions are planned after the first of the year and we’ll let you know how they work out. Two weeks in the islands (note to self – check Hawaii off the bucket list). By the time you read this (again) our hero will have gone public with his decision to run for Mayor in the upcoming election cycle, campaign funds and your respective votes will be appreciated, just in case there is any competition. Even world domination must begin with a baby step. Remember, vote early and often.
His 1st Wife, The “Tolstoy” of Bloggers – Yes boys and girls, everything you ever wanted to know, and a great deal of what you didn’t, about these two nice old people in central Kentucky can now be found on the Internet (sandi-thepurpleturtle.blogspot.com). Kind of makes this letter overkill doesn’t it… But fear not, our two post-mid-life mortal voyagers will continue to fight the good fight, between naps, and strive to keep you informed. Except for the HaWyAn trip mentioned above, group travel this year was limited to the requisite trips to see grandkids every few minutes. On the up-side she took a mandated time out for some minor repairs in the spring and came back a whole new woman. This was followed shortly thereafter by leading the “phased” Camp Christensen effort in July. The usual excesses occurred, no casualties to report. However, if the grandmonsters ever unite and organize, we’re in big trouble. We have confirmed that we are in a “continuing and committed” relationship on “Facebook” so we now have that going for us as well. If it’s on the net it must be so yes, it’s just been a banner year for us there…
Muskegon – OK, we’re back to four… Things will move fast here so pay attention. Nissa, et.al., enlarged the clan by one-ish by recruiting Todd to live the other half of her life and help manage their yours-mine-his-ours-theirs family circus. Rumors abound of impending nuptials (now they HAVE to go through with it, IT having been given space in this letter, read – upcoming trip to MI). Again from the rumor mill, KT will be asked to leave high school in June (read – upcoming trip to MI). PaulZ and Aubs are growing up, nothing can be done about that, sorry. Anyway, they continue to worship, worship I tell you, Ma and Pa and would rather be in KY than anyplace else they can think of except the candy store. While they do bear continual “watching” and cause untold head-scratching for Mom, Todd, Ma, Pa, KT, and several government agencies, we are getting to where we like them a lot. The possibility exists that all of these kids will actually become useful at some point. Fortunately, mom has it “all under control” and assures us we needn’t spend more than a few hours a day worrying. Oh yea, Nissa, you’re still grounded…
The Land of the “Interesting Children” (their term, not mine) – The Federal Open Records Act requires the following announcement. “He” is currently dealing with an increasingly long list of things he has been “asked” not to do in front of these children because “They” lack judgment. For “his” part he is relatively innocent of any infractions, real or perceived (just so you know). Life in LaGrange continues to go well. Daddy works hard selling people places to sleep and reffing soccer games on the side. He even got invited to officialize games at a big regional tournament in the mid-west somewhere. I didn’t know they allowed soccer west of the Mississippi. Mommy manages the Marx Zoo Inc. and makes the rounds with others in her same boat. Master Hayden has become the chief paleontologist (dinosaur guy) at pre-school and has added several thousand words to his ever growing vocabulary. He was pleased to announce at his birthday party in November that his brain had grown THIS much since he turned 5. And then there’s Bailey… turns out she likes BBQ ribs so PA finally has a good rib-eating buddy. However, it’s best to keep your hands away from her mouth while the process is underway. Her favorite hobby is searching out old people with their eyes closed and using her “outside voice” to help them open their eyes.
Live From Chelsea, it’s well -- Jake… -- Our most favorite starving artist (kind-of), continues his foray into the high-tech world when he’s not otherwise working at the University of Michigan in “Educational Theater.” On the up-side they beam him all over the country to do performances so he gets to see a bit of the world from time to time. We have taken to listening to National Public Radio as he made a number of audio appearances there, and we can thus find out what he’s up to (read – phone home will ya?). He did have a couple of short writing works performed in Ann Arbor this year and continues to read hard and write harder. He bought some furniture for his apartment this year too. We’re so proud. He’s doing OK, and made a couple of trips home to eat and do laundry. He was called on a couple of occasions to make his way up to Muskegon and “juvenile-sit” while big sister ran away from home to search for her wits, and his efforts at hosting the old-man’s festivities in October were exemplary. We’ve decided we’re glad he lives “in the middle.”
Okey Dokey, we have once again reached the limit of your respective attention spans and must end this issue of the “Christensen Family Chronicles” so go eat something festive and please do have a Merry Christmas.
The Christensen’s !!!
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