Father's Day Feelings...

Saturday I received a phone call from my father regarding my mother's health. He was in to feed her and it did not go well. First of all she was not in the multi-purpose room at a table, she was still in bed. They were not able to keep her awake. Second she just couldn't stay awake to eat. Papa worked diligently and only got 4 bites down her.

Papa visited with the nursing staff. They told him it is not uncommon for Alzheimer's patients to get their days and nights mixed up. They think she had done that.  The nurses checked on her during the night last night several times and found each time she was wide awake in her bed.

Today during Sunday School class I went to visit mom. She was sitting in her wheelchair at the lunch table. They are trying to keep her awake all day so that she will sleep tonight and maybe get her hours straight again.

Papa just called. He fed Mimi dinner tonight. She ate very well and he found her more alert than yesterday. Such is the journey with an Alzheimer's patient and her care giver.

Saturday while talking with Papa he told me he was asked to speak in Sacrament meeting today. He said they did remind him it would be Father's Day when he spoke. My only counsel to him was to watch his difficulty would bewith staying within the time limit for his talk. Papa loves to talk and he loves to teach. He assured me he would watch the clock.

Today he gave a beautiful talk and started it by saying he would be an obedient father and watch the clock like he told me he would. Everyone got a chuckle. Papa shared how he felt we shouldn't have a 'Father's Day' and a 'Mother's Day'. He felt those two things go hand in hand and should just be a 'Parent's Day'. He felt it was important to honor the two most important titles that can be given to people, that of 'Mother' and 'Father'. He gave a few really good points and then time was up.

I was really emotional listening and watching my father speak. As I looked at him sitting on the stand before time for him to speak, I could see the age in his countenance. Often in the day-to-day rush of getting things accomplished I am aware of how much Papa is aging but pausing and just observing him made me really aware of his age. Of course, he is 82 years old but I'm talking here about a different kind of aging other than just years.

I thought about how many more Father's Days I would have him around. My lot of the three of us girls is to care for my parents in these waning years. That means to see them through to the end of their days on this earth. It makes me keenly aware of where they are at in this journey of life.

It was good to hear Papa speak of the love he has for Mimi and their combined goal of parenting their children. It was good to be aware of the opportunity I have to be with them and experience this tender part of their lives. It was good to be with Mimi this morning and share hugs and kisses again.

One of Mimi's favorite hymns was "O My Father".  That was the closing hymn for today. Papa sang it to Mimi at the beginning of their marriage. She loved it and asked him to sing it to her again. Listening to Papa talk about her and then singing this beautiful hymn on Father's Day after he spoke really stirred the emotions I feel now.  These are the words to "O My Father":

O my Father, thou that dwellest in the high and glorious place,
When shall I regain thy presence and again behold thy face?
In thy holy habitation, did my spirit once reside?
In my first primeval childhood, was I nurtured near thy side?

For a wise and glorious purpose Thou hast placed me here on earth
And withheld the recollection of my former friends and birth;
Yet oftimes a secret something whispers, "You're a stranger here,"
And I felt that I had wandered from a more exalted sphere.

I had learned to call thee Father, thru thy Spirit from on high,
But, until the key of knowledge was restored, I knew not why.
In the heav'ns are parents single? No, the thought makes reason stare!
Truth is reason; truth eternal tells me I've a mother there.

When I leave this frail existence, when I lay this mortal by,
Father, Mother, may I meet you in your royal courts on high?
Then, at length, when I've completed all you sent me forth to do,
With your mutual approbation let me come and dwell with you.

These are such beautiful words and thoughts and truths. Following on the heels of Papa talking about Fathers and Mothers working together in this role of parenting, knowing I was going to visit my own mother in a few minutes, speaking of recollection being withheld for a time when my mom has Alzheimer's, and the knowing of the Plan of Happiness and the Purpose of Life filled my heart to overflowing. When a heart overflows, it seems to seep out of the eyes and down the cheeks. I'm grateful for tears that express gratitude and joy. What a great idea for an emotional valve if you will!!!

After Church I gave Papa his laundry and then a book for Father's Day. We met him at the Mexican restaurant and we all had a nice lunch together. Now Claude is receiving Father's Day calls from his kids and we'll curl up this evening with our oldest grandmonster and enjoy one more quiet evening before starting on the busy week ahead.

It's been a good day, full of tender feelings and lots of affection. Happy Father's Day!!