Music, Bea's Funeral...

Sunday, January 21st, the Relief Society was invited to sing a special number in Sacrament Meeting. We had a small group of sisters that participated. We sang "Mid Pleasures and Palaces". This was in the previous LDS Hymnal but was not included in the 1985 version. It was written for a female chorus in three part harmony. We practiced the two Sundays previous right after church. Elizabeth Christensen was the accompanist. Those participating left to right in the second picture are: Sandi Christensen, Camille Bennett, Jenessa Dymock, Beatrice___, Camille Klein, Laynie Barney, Heidi Barney, Jenna Potter, Jenna Thacker, Jennifer Squire, Sasha Friley. 

When I left the stand to return to my seat after the number, I could see Claude with his eyes full of tears. Clearly, he was touched by this chorus. 

The cute thing was giving this to these sisters for the first time. Look closely at the picture. I could be every one of these sister's mother. Elizabeth is 5 years older than me. Needless to say, none of the young ladies had heard this song before. They immediately talked about how old it was. Elizabeth and I had a grin about that. The second week when we practiced, I shared a quote I read that week in my Liahona magazine. The article was entitled 'Spiritual Skills for Surviving the Last Days" by Merrilee Browne Boyack. "Create a home that is place of security...Having places of security to which you can retreat will help you embrace the future with faith. In addition to our temples and meetinghouses, our homes will be critical places of spiritual strength, protection, and peace in the last days. We must make every effort to fill our homes with the Spirit to offer this protection for our families." After reading this quote, I shared how Claude and I were going to Italy in February. We would see marvelous buildings and homes. We would enjoy all of this tremendously. But nothing will feel so good and returning to our little home after the amazing trip and curling up in our own bed again. That is what this song is about. Our little cottage, however big or small it may be, is our place of security, peace and renewal. The sisters got it and were ready to practice this "OLD" song the second week. 

Monday, January 22nd, Claude and I were up and out the door about 7am. This day was a travel day back to Maryland. The reason for the trip was the passing of Michael's, our son-in-law, grandmother, Bea Marx. We wanted to attend her funeral. We enjoyed this view as we pointed the Buick east.

We would stop in Lavale, Maryland where Fred and Bevy Myers would join us for a nice lunch. We were there after 1:30pm. It is always good to meet and catch up with these dear friends. Then we headed to our hotel in Rockville, Maryland. We would stay in the Best Western on Hwy 28. It turned out to be the best hotel for a trip to Maryland. It has very easy access to I-270 either direction which then gets you to the Beltway or any other highway you need to get around the DC area. We thought we would maybe have dinner with Andie and Michael but chose to drive-thru Chick-fil-A instead. It was dark and we were tired. 

I checked in with text to Bailey and Hayden. Bailey sent me this picture of stuffed shells she made herself for her dinner. I assured Bailey I thought they were amazing. I told her Grampa was impressed. Bailey's response, "As he should be." She then said she would have to cook for us some time. 

Andie and Michael drove to Maryland on Sunday. They would stay with Joyce Romanoff, Michael's stepmother. They would spend Monday helping Ken, Michael's dad, empty out Bea's apartment at the senior living community. Brian, Michael's brother, would help them. This turned up a treasure that Andie would show me the next day before the funeral. Bea was highly organized. She had labels on everything. Andie found a little pocket tablet. Bea put labels on it and recorded all her VHS tapes. The first portion was alphabetical listing the movies. There was another section for musicals, etc. I have all our DVD's on an Excel spreadsheet which is printed out and in the piano bench. When someone visits, I can give the sheet to pick out a movie they might enjoy watching. They also found a place with Ziplock bags for each month. In the bag was the cards to be sent to whomever had a birthday or anniversary the month. If Bea thought of something she wanted to remember to say in the card, she would put a draft of that thought in the card for when she actually wrote in the card. Highly organized. Andie knew I would appreciate this. That little notebook is really a story about Bea. 

Monday night Michael and Andie gathered with his siblings at Ledo's Pizza for dinner. John Nazarro was their server. John is a dear friend from Michael's childhood. It was a great time to catch up with John and the siblings. Andie took this picture of Michael, John and Brian (Michael's brother). 

Tuesday, January 23rd, was the funeral. It would be a graveside service at Mt. Lebanon Cemetery. This cemetery is also called Washington but there is a large section of it that is the Jewish section. 

This was a very sweet, very traditional Jewish service. We went to Henry's, Bea's husband, service years ago. It was held in a funeral home. I don't remember much about it so this was a good memory boost for me. We were blessed with temperatures in the high 40's and a clear day. The ground still had snow on it so paths had been cleared for us to walk but the ground was soggy in placed and hard in others for a very uneven walk. The tent was up for family to sit under with grass-like carpeting to walk on and some sheets of plywood. Again, the ground underneath was very uneven. With the ground like this, Ken fell before the serve and most people even arrived. They got him up and in a chair. He didn't hurt anything, Thank Goodness. 

Bea was 101 years old. Her brother lived in an apartment near her. He is 96 years old. He was able to attend the service. It was heartwarming to watch Michael and other friends and family carry Charlie from his car up the walk to the tent while others removed a chair to make a place for Charlie's wheelchair. 

Ken is in the blue coat with the stocking cap on his head. Standing in front of him is Derrick Romanoff (a stepson), Michael to the back, and John Nazarro shaking Ken's hand. The lady who would officiate and is probably a female rabbi is in the pink hat to the right. Jennifer is the female to the right with her arms folded to be warm. She is Michael's sister.

In this picture they are getting the casket out of the hearse by grandchildren. Two men at the front are workers at the cemetery. They have a cart they are pulling. The rabbi is to the left with a book in her hand reading in Hebrew as they remove the casket from the hearse and as the walk it to the cemetery plot. 

The grandchildren moving the casket into place over the gravesite. Michael is in the front left. It is interesting to note that the casket is a plain wooden casket. It had a wooden Star of David on the top. That was all ornamentation other than the handles with which to carry it. Henry was also buried in a wooden casket. One of the tenets of the Jewish faith is the belief we are created from dust and to dust we are destined to return. The body has to return to the earth as soon as possible. With a simple pine casket, it will be a natural decomposition of wood. Burial is intended to take place in as short an interval of time after death as possible. Embalming and cremation are forbidden in the strict Jewish law. 

This is the rabbi conducting the service and explaining that it will be a traditional Jewish service. She was very gentle and kind to everyone and the family as they participated and needed to change things to accommodate them. When she did the 'cantor' portions where a prayer would be sung, I realized how monotone they seem to me. There is inflection. The notes do go up and down but not a lot. I think I like when a male voice does this better. More resonance. 

The rabbi explained that an important part of the Jewish service was the family sharing the obituary of the deceased. Ken would speak first. His remarks he said were intended to be humorous and show the life of Bea through that lens. He assured us Marian's remarks would be more serious. Ken simply wrote words or phrases that were like adjectives of Bea as a person. Some we all nodded in agreement. Some we chuckled with amusement. Some we laughed out loud. It was a touching tribute to his mother. 

These pictures are of Marian Lerner. She is Ken's sister and Bea's daughter. This was a very emotional experience for her. She was having a difficult time getting through the passing of her mother and this funeral. In the first two pictures she is pointing out jewelry. She wore earrings from her sister, Susan, who has already passed away, and a necklace that was her mother's. She wanted everyone to know they were present with these actions. Marian shared experiences she and her mother had, trips they had taken together. It was personal and let everyone have a good glimpse into Bea. Again, we felt emotional at times and then laughed at times. All these things are healing to me. The third picture has Marian with her son on the left and her hubby, Mark, on the right. 

Then Charlie said he wanted to speak. This was not on the program. The rabbi made sure he had time to speak. Family moved his wheelchair so he was facing the group. His daughter is standing to the left. Derrick is on the left and Brian is on his right. Charlie's voice is very soft and he speaks very slowly. But he shared how close he was to Bea through the years. He shared experiences of their childhood. Their parents had a market with a store window. He and Bea, as children, would stand in that store window and do the jitterbug. People would line up to watch their two kids dance together. He will miss Bea. They loved watching those VHS tapes together. 

The rabbi then explained the tradition of placing soil on the grave. The ground was clearly frozen where the pile of soil from the grave was located. A large bucket of soil had been placed by the grave and it would serve the purpose for Bea's funeral. The rabbi explained that Israel is dear to Jews all over the world. A vial of soil from Israel was first poured into the plot by the rabbi so that Bea would have some of Israel's soil with her. Then the rabbi share about everyone who wanted to helping to place soil into Bea's grave. This is done in a particular way. The hand spade is used but it is used upside down. This is because we want to keep our loved one with us as long as possible. This is a difficult thing to let go. So, the soil is taken from the bucket (in this case) with the spade upside down. To further emphasize this slowness in parting, the spade is emptied into the grave using a backhand motion. Then the spade is laid back on the ground before the next person uses it. It is never handed to the next person. Henry was left near the casket and would be the first to put soil into his sisters grave. Love how the family helped him so he had this parting gesture of care for his sister. 

Michael would place soil in his grandmother's grave. 

There were prayers and readings throughout the service. Usually, they were done in Hebrew and then in English. At the end, a final prayer, the Kaddish, is read by the closest of family. They were given the prayer and it was read in Hebrew. This our Michael reading that prayer in Hebrew. I have heard Michael speak in Hebrew before and loved hearing that. It was good to see him embrace this part of his faith for his grandmother. 

When the portion of the service around the gravesite was finished, we were asked to form two lines leaving the gravesite to the cars. The immediate family would pass through those two lines and we were to say something in Hebrew. Now, that was not going to happen because it was a long phrase and I can't remember that much for that long. The rabbi gave us the English version. Basically, we all shook hands with the family as they walked between us. Marian was supported by Mark, her hubby. As she got to Claude and I she looked with a questioning look at us, then her eyes showed that she was remembering, the tears flowed as she realized we drove over from Kentucky for this service. I just held her hand and told her we loved Bea and Henry, and we loved their family. Tender moment. 

I noticed people placing rocks on a headstone near the gravesite. I recognized the names. This is Bea's mother and father's headstone, Milton and Esther Brotman. 

Andie and Michael attended something with the family. This was on display. It is a picture of Bea and Henry. Way cool. 

We would leave the cemetery and Michael and Andie to be with his family. With his sister living in London, his brother in Florida, and Michael in Kentucky, they really don't see each other often. Not to mention his father who lives part-time in Florida and part-time in Maryland. So, Claude and I truly felt they needed to have as much family time as they could these few days. There would be a meal served at the synagogue for family and friends. In the evening, everyone would go to Mark and Marian's home for an evening meal and visit. 

Claude and I drove to Arlington, Virginia. We would pass the Washington DC Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

Our destination was the Italian Store for our much-loved sandwich, the Milano. Oh, it was yummy. 

With the cold and snow, we decided to go back to our hotel and rest a bit. I searched for places to get crab cakes. I mean, really, Maryland is for crabs!! I also sent Andie a text. She suggested a place called G&M in Linthicum, Maryland. We drove there via a new road to us that cuts across the counties and avoids the Beltway. It is a toll road, but that traffic moved and we were happy about that. We had a huge meal that was delicious. My crab cake meal is pictured with my dinner fork at the top of my plate to show the size of the crab cakes. Claude's meal had a smaller crab cake as well as a sampling of other seafoods. We did NOT have dessert. 

I ended up being ill all night long. 

Wednesday, January 24th, we slept in a bit. Our plan was to take this day and do something fun. Well, I didn't feel good still and simply wanted my home. Rain was in the forecast for the entire area we would be in for this day and Thursday. So we pointed the Buick north to Hagerstown and picked up I-81 south to I-64 and went home that way. At least we would see some different scenery. We stopped outside Huntington, WV to dinner and to fill the car with gasoline. Claude would also stop at Walmart so I could pick up some baby yarn to finish a project. Our Georgetown Walmart had none. It was a good drive and we got home at 8:30 in the evening. We unpacked and plopped ourselves in the living room to catch up on Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. We are old!! I worked with my yarn to get some more squares finished on the baby afghan. 

Thursday, January 25th, the morning was foggy. There was the promise of rain through the afternoon and evening. We stayed inside so I could rest up another day. I would work on a few things on my laptop and crochet some more. A quiet day to heal is such a blessing.

Life is good. Family is important. Home is important. I feel richly blessed!

Giving, ABBA, Dear Friends, Bitter Cold...

Friday, January 12th, I simply stopped my life and spent time reading. What a delight. I don't do this often enough. I finished my book about the history of Italy in preparation for our upcoming trip. And I read my entire January Liahona. I also stopped and called my BFF, Laura Carter. Now those two things make for a great day!!

Saturday, January 13th, had two fun things happen. We have stored Jake's mattress and box springs from his old bed in the loft of our shed. The missionaries had a contact in need of a bed. We told them they could surely have this one but they needed to arrange a truck and men to help heft it down from the loft. This was the day. The two missionaries and James Hollen (who owns the truck) came and helped Claude get the bed out of the loft. They also took two bookshelves and a night stand. Nice to see these items go to someone in need. 

Katelyn send this cute picture of Emelia. Why is this picture significant? Well, when Katelyn lived with us one summer after she graduated High School, whenever she and I went to the store, Katelyn was ALWAYS straightening the aisle. Didn't matter what store, the aisles and clothes racks always needed a little help looking perfect. It seems Emelia has inherited her mother's cleaning and straightening gene!

The evening was a wonderful date with my Big Guy. We went to Firehouse Subs for a great dinner. If we take a certain route, Firehouse Subs in right on the way. It seems this is becoming our go to dinner place when going into Lexington to Rupp Arena or the Lexington Opera House. We don't have a Firehouse Subs in Georgetown so this is a great stop for us. 

Our adventure this evening was and ABBA Tribute groups performing in the Lexington Opera House. I had not even thought of doing this but several people came dressed like the 70's style of clothes. There was one man that could have been a pimp in the 70's. Nice fella. Lots of shiny tops and loud print pants. The group was really quite good. We were encouraged to sing along, dance along, take pictures and video to post. It was really a good concert for audience participation. I do find it amusing when those my age and older get up and dance like they believe they are still in their 20's or 30's. It was great fun. Totally enjoyed this date.

Sunday, January 14th, was a really fun Sunday. I was able to lead the music for Sacrament Meeting. I was watching as people entered. I take the roll as Relief Society Secretary and doing that from the stand makes it really easy. I noticed a couple come in from the back. They were looking for a place to sit. The lady pointed to a spot and they came forward and sat by Amanda Owens. Then it dawned on me it was Lisa and David Adams. Lisa is Amanda's mother. Lisa was my 1st counselor when I was Stake Relief Society president. She and David live in Florida. I suddenly had a grin from ear to ear and then Lisa looked up and realized it was me on the stand. She then had a grin on her face from ear to ear. We wanted to run and hug each other but it was time for the meeting to start. That hug would come after the meeting. 

During one of the hymns, I looked at Claude as I got up to lead. He looked at me and we winked at each other. I was sure no one saw this. However, Heidi Barney caught each of us after the meeting and assured us she saw that wink. No fool like an old fool!! 

After the meetings, Claude and I got Jimmy John's for lunch and took it home. While we were eating, I said to Claude that it would be really great if our old Play Group (the Stake Relief Society Presidency) could get together. He agreed. While Claude napped, I crocheted and texted Lisa first to be sure she and David would have a time they could do this while here. Once that was confirmed, I sent a text to Laura Carter (our 2nd counselor) and Barbara Mason (our secretary) to see what their week was like and when we might get all of us, our hubbies and Jessie (our photographer and Laura's daughter) together. Miracle of Miracles, we all could meet Tuesday afternoon. Claude agreed to make a big pot of vegetable beef soup and have rolls. Laura and Howard would bring little cheesecakes for dessert. 

Then I started to crochet in earnest. I found a pattern for a granny square crochets Christmas Tree ornament. I used to make these ladies and ornament every year for Christmas. I decided I would make four of these ornaments and give them one like old times. I thought they were so cute, I sent the pictures to our current Ward Relief Society presidency and suggested they might make a cute gift for our 2024 gift to the sisters at Christmas. They all liked the idea. I will now make 50 more for this Christmas. 

In the evening, Claude set to work on his Lego Ferrari. For Christmas, I gave him 4-laps in a Ferrari around the Kentucky Speedway. In addition, I bought this Lego Ferrari for him. He would try diligently to put it together. It seemed to be missing a piece in the first bag of pieces. The second bag was put together but it didn't stay together. After a few days of working on it and being very frustrated, I suggested we have Hayden work on it. He had tons of Lego pieces and would have anything that might be missing. His brain just sees how these things go together. Claude would finally take it apart and bag it back up. We'll ask Hayden for help when he comes home. Doing puzzle things is not Claude's forte. That is my area. I was really pleased he worked so hard and almost had it right. He would never be happy with that car unless it was right. 

We were experiencing the cold, cold, cold of winter. Snow was expected Sunday night and Monday morning. 

Monday, January 15th, We planned a day inside our home. This first snow was a light amount, maybe an inch, and it was powder dry. Claude went out and took his leaf blower. He cleaned our driveway and walk to the door. I would use a shovel and get our front sidewalk and Catherine's walks and driveway. I always love when we work outside together. And, I thought my hubby was sheer genius for thinking of the leaf blower for this powdery snow. In my gratitude journal for this day I listed Claude's genius and working with him, a warm home on a very frigid day, and flannel sheets when it is this cold.

Tuesday, January 16th, I had a dental cleaning and 6-month check on my teeth. Since the rest of the week held the promise of extremely cold weather with more snow the end of the week, we decided Claude would drop me at the dentist and head to Walmart to pick up the few grocery items we might want or need for the remainder of the week. Then we could go home and hunker down for the rest of the week. Leaving the road to those who really needed to use it. 

After getting home, we finished up for the ladies to come for our little reunion. Claude made sure the drives and walkways were clear. Again with the leaf blower. I set out things inside the house for company to come visit. 

At one o'clock, I got a call from Barbara. She and WC were in the driveway and no one else was here. She wanted to be sure she was at the right place. I assured her she was simple the first one to arrive. David and Lisa were the next to arrive. The Laura, Howard and Jessie came with dessert. It was so fun to be together again. We picked up like we had not had long been apart. 

I sent the ladies each two pictures I thought they might enjoy. 

The first was taken October 8, 2006. This Sunday we were called and sustained as the new Stake Relief Society Presidency. Seated are Lisa Adams and Sandi Christensen. Standing are Laura Carter and Barbara Mason. We all met at our home that day for lunch and to get to know each other. I didn't know Laura at all. Barbara I knew and Lisa I knew a bit. From this first meeting together, we were best friends. We would serve together for four years. 

The second picture was taken Octiber 23, 2010. This was our final activity for all the sisters in the Lexington North Stake. It was "Circle of Sisters". The next day we would be released from our callings and a new Stake Relief Society presidency would be called. From left to right: Barbara Mason, Lisa Adams, Sandi Christensen, Laura Carter, Jessie Carter. What a totally delightful four years it was. We each had very difficult things happen in our lives and our families during this four years. But we sustained and strengthened each other and only women can do for each other. 

We enjoyed our soup which was delicious. Claude accidentally used soy sauce when he thought he had Worchestershire sauce. It was soo good. We had a bit of dessert and then settled in the living room to visit. Lisa retired on December 30th. Barbara and WC don't drive at night anymore. We are all a little older and had the bumps of life in our history. But we are still such dear friends. This is a blessing to me. 

I had us get one more picture of all of us. Seated: Jessie Carter & Barbara Mason. Standing: Sandi Christensen, Lisa Adams, Laura Carter. I love these ladies and their hubbies who supported us all the way. Looking forward to our next reunion.

Wednesday, January 17th, Claude and I were set to stay inside for the rest of the week. Claude received a call from Brad Manwaring. Brad told him Alli (his wife) was already in West Virginia and Brad and his dad were going to drive over on Thursday to meet her. Their son Breck and his wife Iris had their first baby, a little girl named Camila Rose. I had Claude contact Brad and get a time we could drop off a baby gift for this little bundle of joy. We went over about 2:30 and had a good chat with Brad and his dad and left the gift for Brad to deliver for us. 

Funny thing, the Manwaring's daughter, Aubrey and her hubby, Raul, are having their first baby, a girl, this Sunday. I have working on the baby afghan for her baby. 

In the evening, Andie called to let me know that Bea, Michael's grandmother on his father's side was not doing well. She had been in the hospital. They were moving her to palliative care. Bea just turned 101. She has stayed of sound mind and strong body until this last year when she had covid. It knocked her down a peg but she was able to get back to her own apartment at the senior community.

Thursday, January 18th, we stayed inside all day looking out the window from time to time to check the weather. When this frigid air came the week before, I shut up all the blinds and curtains in the house to try and help keep the inside as warm as possible. So, we don't see what is going on outside unless we lift a blind. I spent the day doing laundry and crocheting. I was grateful for my cellphone to keep up with family and friends who had special difficulties in their lives. 

In the evening, Andie would let us know that Bea had passed. 

Friday, January 19th, We stayed at home all day. Snow came and we had at least 4" to 5". This was wet heavy snow that the leaf blower could not handle. Claude went out to shovel our walks. I suited up and joined him. This time we only got our walks and driveway done. We can feel our age and did not get Catherine's done this time. But I was grateful we could take care of ourselves at least. Time is coming to hire some of the young boys that come around to shovel.

With communication with Andie, we decided we would go to Maryland for Bea's funeral. Andie and Michael will leave Sunday so they can visit with family. Claude and I will leave Monday and visit Fred and Bevy on our way to Rockville, Maryland. The funeral will be a graveside service on Tuesday. We will head home on Wednesday. In my head, I am thinking of what else we might want to visit. We know we will go to The Italian Store for a Milano for sure. Andie and Michael want to have Ledo's Pizza while there. Claude promised to buy for us. 

I also spent a lot of time crocheting. I had white and pink yarn on hand. I had hoped I had enough. I wanted to finish up what I had of the pink to see if it was enough. It was not quite enough. So, I will purchase a big skein of pink and white to finish the afghan. 

Saturday, January 20th, is another stay inside kind of day. This day I have spent working on my laptop chores. I have kind of not done a lot with it over the last week or so. Time to get caught up. So far I have stayed focused and crossed several things off the to do list. I am quite fond of these stay at home days!!