Turning Off Lights...

What a thought filled week I had last week.

Our friend, Karen, passed away after her battle with pancreatic cancer. I teach the Gospel Doctrine class in Sunday School and the lesson two Sunday's ago was on the Garden of Gethsemane experience and last Sunday's lesson was on the trials and crucifixion of the Savior.

Having these two events coincide provided my brain and heart with lots to think and ponder.  I found myself reaffirming truths I hold dear and sacred.

First, a calendar of events, then my feelings.

Friday, July 15th, Karen went into a coma. Hospice was already caring for her in her home. They said it would be a few days until she would pass. We were grateful for the coma because it provided a way for her to slip quietly away.

Monday, July 18th, at 3pm Karen's spirit quietly left her tired body.

Jim has conscientiously provided eMail's on Karen's ups and downs since the diagnosis. These eMail's were much appreciated. Monday evening, Jim sent an eMail letting everyone know his beloved eternal companion had ended her earthly sojourn.

Interestingly, I was sitting at my computer typing quotes from the most recent Ensign magazine into my computer for easy future reference. I had just typed a quote from a General Conference talk given in April by Elder Richard G. Scott. I felt a strong impression to share that quote with Jim. Here is the quote:

“I know what it is to love a daughter of Father in Heaven who with grace and devotion lived the full feminine splendor of her righteous womanhood. I am confident that when, in our future, I see her again beyond the veil, we will recognize that we have become even more deeply in love. We will appreciate each other even more, having spent this time separated by the veil.”

I eMailed the quote to Jim. He responded that he agreed with that sentiment and was grateful for the thought.

Tuesday, July 19th, I had to be in Georgetown early to take Papa for a shot. He has disk issues with his back and artheritis. After seeing a specialist, it was determined to try cordizone injections and see if they would provide him relief. They don't cure, they just take the pain away in most cases. Papa needed someone to drive him as the injection can sometime cause numbness in the legs for a bit.

After his injection and getting him home and finding he was doing great, I left to run an errand. My errand was to go to Johnson's funeral home and finish paying for my father's funeral expenses. Ironic, isn't it.

Tony was the only person in the office of the funeral home. I explained to him the purpose of my visit and hoped we could set up an appointment for me. Tony stated he had an 11am appointment and that gave him plenty of time to take care of me before they arrived. He pulled Papa's file and we set to work.

I told Tony he had a dear friend of mine at the funeral home and her name was Karen. He then told me his 11am appointment was with the Parker family. Amazing.

The phone rang at the funeral home and Tony was the only one there to take the call. He went to the receptionist desk and took the call. I waited in the conference room. I could hear him state he didn't know the address of the church and has not been there before. I knew he was speaking of Karen's funeral and called out the address of the church around the corner. He chuckled and gave the person on the call the address.

Thursday was a very tender experience for me. Karen was to be dressed in the white clothing she would wear when going to the Temple. The sacredness of this means only those who are also temple attending ladies could dress her in these clothes. I was one of six ladies who would provide this service for Karen. I have never done this before and had assumed my first time to do this would be with my mother. Love Karen's heart for giving me a time to practice before then.

Tony led the six of us to the embalming room where Karen's body was, we said a prayer, then we proceeded to dress this dear mother (her two daughters participated) and friend. As we left the embalming room, I was the last one out and looked back one last time and said a quiet little, "Good-bye Karen" as I turned out the lights.

The ladies then joined with Jim and some other family to set up quilts in the mortuary in preparation for Karen's visitation on Friday.  This mortuary is an old craftsman style home. So it already has a wonderful home like quality to it. However, after placing quilts in every room, it just felt even more like a warm, inviting home.

I was to play the organ for the funeral. I really needed to practice and determine what to play for the prelude and postlude. One of the ladies in our group had a key to the church building and let me in to practice. I practiced for about an hour and a half. Then I closed up the organ, gathered my books and headed out of the chapel. As I left the chapel, I once again paused, looked at the podium and organ, and then turned out the lights.

Friday, July 22nd, Claude and I went to the mortuary for the visitation. These can be difficult experiences but it is also a chance to visit with friends that live in other areas that you don't see very often. So, while it was a quiet and reverent occasion, it was also a time of renewing old friendships and confirming others.

Saturday, July 23rd was the funeral. Claude got me to the church early, he dropped the salad I prepared for their meal in the kitchen and I headed to play prelude. I love to play the organ. It was just calming to sit there and play for about 40 minutes before the service began. I played from a book that has LDS hymns in it arranged one right after the other with a short modulation into the next key for the next hymn. I was amazed that the hymns I was playing near the end as the family entered had words, if sung, that would fit their situation. The timing turned out to be perfect for those hymns.

Sunday, July 24th I gave my lesson on the trials and crucifixion of the Savior. My lesson time is only 40 minutes at most. I had, and the lesson manual suggested I use, a video that lasts about 15 minutes titled "To This End Was I Born". It is a very moving video and I knew it was one I really wanted to use.

After prayerful consideration, I felt impressed to give each member of the class a card with a diagram of the last 24 hours of the Savior's life. I made two charts. One was of the people before whom Jesus was brought for trials. The second was of the last seven statements made by the Savior as he hung on the cross. I also put up my huge map of the city of Jerusalem during the time of Christ with Gethesemane, Caiaphas' palace, Antonia Fortress, Herod's palace, Golgotha and the Garden Tomb marked on it. Since Claude and I have been to Israel, I bring a thin white notebook with pictures that are appropriate to the material covered in that Sunday's lesson. This weeks notebook I divided and inserted pictures in the order of the events of this lesson.

I began the lesson by having us read John 3:16-17.  "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosover believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For god sent not his Son into the world to condem the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

Then I told of a wonderful experience I had the last time I was a seminary teacher and taught the New Testament. We had our youth meet at the church, we gave them bread marked "Bread of Life" and water marked "Living Water". We talked about these being names for the Savior and why they are used. Then we loaded the kids up and took them to the Washington DC Temple Visitor's Center. They were shown the video I would show my Gospel Doctrine class. Then we had a testimony meeting following the video. Some of the sweetest testimonies I have ever heard were given that evening.

I told my Gospel Doctrine class I wanted to try and have that kind of an experience on Sunday. I pointed out the locations on the map as I told the story of the betrayal, arrest, trials, sentencing and crucifixion. Then I showed the beautiful video.

During and near the end of the video, they place Jesus in the sepulchre provided by Joseph of Arimathaea. Then the stone is rolled over the entrance and the lights go out.

It was a poignant lesson and the Spirit was strongly felt.

Monday, Claude and I drove to Camp Nelson National Cemetary where Karen was to be interred. The family gathered and a few friends. The grave was dedicated and after some final hugs with family, we left to find a quiet spot for Claude to take a 10:45am telephone call.

My feelings have been many.

Before Karen's passing and as I studied for Sunday School, I had it reaffirmed in my heart that our spirit continues to live after our body stops. As I was driving into Georgetown on Thursday to help with dressing Karen, the most powerful but calm feeling came over me as I turned onto Hwy. 32 outside of Eagle Bend. I knew that I would be dressing a body without a spirit. I knew my hubby was concerned about my emotions as I did this, especially with my caring for my parents and watching for this time in there lives. But I knew, with all my heart, as I left to take the roads to Georgetown that I was going to be just fine. I was providing a tender service for a dear friend's body. She would appreciate it. I would grow from that experience. And all would be okay in my world.

I found myself wondering during the last week as I looked at beautiful clouds what in the world life was like now for Karen. Suddenly that process seemed very real to me. I could picture Karen with family and friends who have gone before and the joy they felt together again. And the realization was a good feeling. I felt joy in the next step in her progression. No tears, just joy and positive feelings.

I realized anew the importance of all that the Savior did for us. His very life, a perfect, sinless example and life. Sentenced by such illegal arrest and trials. Judgment on him executed in a most awful manner but one that was foretold by Old Testament prophets. It was a commitment he made in the Grand Council in Heaven before we all came to this earth. He committed to it, he lived that perfect life, he prepared his disciples, then he obediently followed through with that commitment. He did it for me and for you. A 'sinless ransom for our sakes.'

I closed my Sunday School class by reading the words found in Isaiah 53:3-5:

"He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrow: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But we was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him: and with his stripes we are healed."

What an amazing week. I love my Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ. I am grateful for the Holy Ghost to testify of the truthfulness of these things. I am grateful for the Atonement, for the healing feelings it provides for me both in repentance and in times of difficulties and trials. I am grateful for the resurrection of which everyone who has had a body will be a receiver. I am also grateful for the opportunity that is mine to inherit eternal life if I am valiant in those covenants I have made and in the manner in which I choose to live my life. This is truth. This is sustaining, uplifting and comforting truth for which I am ever so grateful.

Those lights were turned out at times when stages of life were being left and new stages of our eternal progression were being entered. I am grateful for that little bit of recognition of 'Sandi's Journey'.