Every other year when I get an eMail with the dates for the coming year's Time Out for Women (TOFW), I forward it to my hubby with a request that it be my Christmas gift. He always is happy to oblige. It is just such a cup filling kind of thing for me.
Friday morning I visited Papa and took him for a brief car ride. Then I headed home with a sandwich from Jimmy John's for our dinner. Then off to TOFW I sped.
The event begins at 6:30am. They stay right with their scheduled times. The theme this year was "Centered in Christ" with the scripture being John 15:15 "I am the vine, ye are the branches".
The program began with Jenny Oaks Baker playing her violin. She brought her 14 year old (would turn 15 on Monday) daughter, Hannah, to accompany her on the piano. I have seen Jenny at one other TOFW. She is just superb. Hannah was amazing at the piano. Jenny is the daughter of Pres. Dallin H. Oaks, newly sustained 1st Counselor in the 1st Presidency of the Church. She looks a little like her dad.
The first speaker was Elaine Dalton. She was General President of the Young Women at one point. She introduced the color white to their values to represent Virtue. Some people call her the Virtue Lady because of this. She told about running with friends and they were all calling out blessings. She called out how thankful she was for a healthy body. Then...her foot hit a pebble and down she went. She realized her leg was in a very unnatural position. She had a very bad break. She was taken to the hospital, surgery was done and she went through the healing process. She talked of how that experience helped her to better understand the comfort the Holy Ghost can provide and the power of the Atonement to heal us and help us move forward.
Following her statement that we must do the spiritual work required to have the companionship of the Holy Ghost, she gave a little formula she and her husband are using. She was explaining to us that we should start simply and using this method will help with that. They have given it the name PROSS and each letter is to indicate a simple thing/things you can do to accomplish this spiritual work so you can receive the companionship of the Holy Ghost.
- P = Prayer and Purity (Purity is our power)
- R = Read and Repent (Read your scriptures daily)
- O = Obedience (This always brings blessings)
- S = Sacrament and Service
- S = Smile
Referring the words spoken at General Conference by the 1st Presidency and the Apostles, she told us she has certain words that, when she hears them, her ears perk up and she listens very carefully to what follows them. Some of these words are: Hasten, I plead with you, Redemption and Zion. What a tender feeling that gave to me. I remember when my mother had Alzheimer's and I struggled to find the things I was to learn from that experience, I too made a list of words that came to mean so much to me through that experience. Words like: Peace, Submit, Endure, Hope, etc. How I could see the wisdom in Elaine's council to listen for and then pay attention, followed by heeding these kinds of words when spoken by our Priesthood leaders.
After Elaine, Jenny Oaks Baker and her daughter, Hannah, provided more music for us. Two comments Jenny made during this set of music were: 1) Pray to see the miracles and 2) Calendar your commitments (or promptings from the Holy Ghost).
The final speaker for Friday was Tom Christofferson. I was anxious to hear this particular talk. Tom's brother is Elder D. Todd Christofferson, one of the 12 Apostles. There are five boys in that family. Tom served a full-time mission. When he returned from his mission, he was sure he would have the answer to his prayer that his gay attraction would be taken away. He did his part so the Lord surely would answer that prayer. Tom loved the Gospel and wanted to be a member of the Church but he found upon his return from his mission that he still was a gay man. He eventually determined he should leave the Church and he and his partner set up housekeeping. They lived a monogamous relationship for I believe he said 10 or 12 years. Finally, he decided he wanted to go back to Church. He would sneak it after Sacrament meeting started, sit in the very back and sneak out before anyone could corner him. After a while he knew he wanted to not do his attendance in that manner. He set up an appointment and went to visit the Bishop of the Ward. He assured the Bishop he was gay and was happy with his partner but he did want to come to Church. The Bishop told him he was more than welcome to come and to bring his partner. Tom attended and every now and then his partner would come. Tom always felt welcomed by the members of the Ward. Eventually, Tom was sure he was ready to be rebaptized. The Bishop asked to speak with him and his partner. The Bishop explained to Tom's partner what was required for Tom to be baptized again and asked how he felt about that. Tom's partner was not really ready for that. So, the Bishop said they would not rebaptize Tom until he and his partner felt it was right. Eventually Tom and his partner separated and Tom was rebaptized. Tom is very active in Church, teaching the Gospel Doctrine class in his Ward. His partner found another man to live with and they are very happy. Tom said he told his partner he was happy that he found what was right for him. His partner felt the same for Tom and they parted with respect and love and friendship for each other. However, I was very moved when Tom said he has some very lonely nights. It can't be an easy path for him to be on but he knows it is the right path for him. He freely admits this may not be the path for others but it is the path for him.
The other thing that was very important about Tom's story was his family. He had great parents and four brothers that he loves very much. And Tom says that is the key. His parents decided that they should be sure the bedrock of their family values was to have each member of the family have charity (the pure love of Christ) for all other members in their family, no matter their choices. And that is how these five brothers were raised by their mother and father. How powerful is that!!
How did/does Tom Christofferson deal with all this. Three simple rules: 1) It is more important to Jesus Christ than to know why these things happen. 2) All answers are not ours now. (This is like my understanding that in this life we walk by 'faith'. That means we don't know everything. We are not meant to know and understand everything. We act on the truth we know, we have faith and hope for the truth we are trying to learn and understand. That is how life is to be lived.) 3) Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ's love and peace are ours.
Tom learned through his mother's fight with cancer that you only have to do one more day. That is how she approached the pain and agony she went through.
This was a great talk by a great man. Grateful he was one of the speakers.
That ended Friday's portion of the weekend at about 9:30pm. Time to hurry back to Sadieville. The weather forecast was for cold and snow. Sure enough, as I went to my car, little pellets were falling down. I made it home fine and prepared my things to leave early Saturday morning as the roads were to be bad and I wanted plenty of time to drive them.
Saturday morning I was out the door by 7am. Roads were a bit snowy and there were icy spots. The ice is the bad thing here in Kentucky. Often it is that black ice and you just don't see it until you are spinning around. A fervent prayer before leaving and a constant prayer while driving that hour plus drive kept me safe from all danger. When I got close to the exit off I-75 two tractor trailers had collided. There are multiple layers of traffic at that point and the ones overhead were all full of lines of stalled traffic. I got in the right lane because my exit would be in a few miles. It moved okay. Then the warning sign came up over the highway saying I-75 and 5th Avenue had black ice. That was my exit. Made it just fine and the city streets were clear. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer when I have to drive somewhere.
I arrived early enough to visit the Sweet Salt Clothing booth. I purchased a dress from them two years previous that I loved. I found three dresses and purchased them. I walked quickly through the Deseret Book area and found three books but time was running close for the program to begin so I opted to wait to purchase them till lunch.
The introduction to this day began with some great thoughts:
- Books ignite dreams.
- Jesus is the Plan.
- Have joy in your circumstances.
- We need women who have a bedrock understanding of the doctrine of Jesus Christ. ~~ Russell M. Nelson.
Back to Mary Ellen...she got very, very sick on this trip. She had a dear friend traveling with her, Lee Ann. This friend cared for her and then those three night Mary Ellen was able to come out and talk with us. Who should be at TOFW but Lee Ann and her husband to support Mary Ellen. I made it a point before the event began on Friday evening to go to Mary Ellen and thank her again for her wonderful talks during our cruise. She reached in her pocket and gave me a little card. On one side was printed "Never underestimate the power of your personal influence!" and "Your love and example can make a happifying difference in the lives of others. Follow the Savior, the one who has had the most profound influence of all." The other side of this beautiful little card said, "With much love from MEE. Mary Ellen Edmunds." I have it taped to my printer so I can remember these words of wisdom every day.
Her great humor showed as she walked onto the stage and put her foot up on a stool and said, "I got new shoes!" They were red and black. Then she said, "They go with my stripped socks!" Then she raised her pants legs and she had on stripped knee socks that were in many, many colors. We all warmed to her immediately.
She quoted Mother Teresa, "What we do is a drop in the ocean. But, if it was not there it would be missed."
Do the best you can do and He will fill in.
Mary Ellen Edmunds has never married. She is a nurse by profession. She served on the General Relief Society Board for 11 years. She has served as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Taiwan, Hong Kong, the Philippines and Indonesia. She has traveled to Africa to help there as well. Every time she speaks she shares tender experiences while serving these missions.
Music for Saturday was performed by Calee Reed. Calee was married the first time at 30 years of age. Her mother taught her to sing. Her first album was written as she went through the pain of a divorce and the struggles of being a single mother. In 2017 she remarried and is now very pregnant while raising 5 children in their blended family. She is very happy, even with all that excitement.
Calee told us that people that follow her have shared their mutual love of Kintsugi. This is a Japanese artform. It takes broken pottery that is mended with a special lacquer and dusted with gold and silver or platinum. Kintsugi teaches a belief in the beauty of imperfections. The broken pottery becomes even more refined thanks to its scars. In addition to her beautiful music, Calee shared with us a beautiful quote by Mandy Hale, "Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible."
Some other thoughts Calee shared were:
- God doesn't intend to break us with challenges.
- When the water is deep it isn't meant to drown you. It is meant to cleanse you.
- If you are a little bit better than yesterday, that is enough. ~~ Elder David A. Bednar
- Rise to the stature of the divine within you. ~~ Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley
- Choose progress over perfection.
The second speaker for Saturday was Alissa Parker. Her talk was titled "Sometimes Believing is Enough". Alissa is the mother of Emily, a precious six year old that was killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting. Alissa shared her journey and it was exceptionally moving. Alissa has two other daughters.
Alissa shared how special a daughter Emily was. Then she carried us to the day of the shooting and how they proceeded after it. Elder Gene Cook was there to speak at Emily's funeral. In his talk he specifically told Alissa to not dwell on the life Emily would have had.
Alissa also shared how she came to deal with the young man that did this killing. She eventually came to understand that God loved the young man but was disappointed in the choices he made.
Such a trial to endure.
Calee Reed sang again. This time she told us about something she read or watched about cows and buffalo in a storm. The cows would run to keep ahead of the storm. This meant they were often running with the storm and they would have a long and hard run. The buffalo, on the other hand, would turn, face the storm and run into it. Their run was shorter by doing this. The moral...We don't get to choose the storm but we do choose the way we deal with it.
There was a table discussion regarding paying attention to promptings from the Holy Ghost and keeping our lives centered in Jesus Christ.
The third speaker was Jenny Reeder. Jenny is a women's history specialist at the LDS Church History Department. She has had leukemia since 2010. It has gone into remission and returned three times more. She is barren because of all the treatments and if she has another recurrence the possibility of remission is nil. She draws strength from two scriptures. The first is in 2 Peter in the New Testament and the phrase that gives her hope is "The Lord is not slack". The second is in Alma in the Book of Mormon and the words are, "He will verify His word in every particular." The title of her talk was "Finding Miracles even in our Waste Places".
Jenny shared the stories of several women in Church History: Mary Whitmer, Mary Fielding Smith, Amanda Barnes Smith, Zina Young and Rachel from the Old Testament. Each of these women had to go through 'waste places' and they each experienced miracles in their lives. Jenny fits well with the women. She shared a strong testimony of the miracles in her life as she has gone through all these rounds of leukemia. She told how the commandment was given to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth and fulfill the measure of their creation. Jenny says this means more that just bearing children. Think about that. I found that profound. At the end she shared the words from scripture regarding Rachel, "And God remember Rachel." God will remember us also.
Calee Reed provided more music.
Emily Belle Freeman was the final speaker with the topic "Finding His Grace Where You Are".
In speaking of grace, Emily said these thoughts:
- The Lord will meet you where you are. But he doesn't intend to leave you there.
- The Lord's strength is made perfect in weakness.
- Charity is the outward expression of our inward understanding of grace.
Calee Reed sang a closing number and it was over.
I left with a full heart and ready to deal with life and grow from the experiences I am given to learn from. Everyone of these presenters had a huge trial in their lives. Every single one of them. What does that confirm for me. We all have trials. We all have to do hard things. My hard thing right now is the continued care of my father. I often think that it is so small a thing compared to other people and the trials with which they live. Then I have learned to say to myself, "But this is my trial. And it what I am to learn from. So don't compare my trial to someone else. Just understand and have empathy with them and continue to try and learn and grow from my trial." Each of these presenters had a huge trial. It was their trial. But letting me know about it and understand what they have learned and how they dealt with it can help me deal with my trials. Now, don't think for a minute that I am not grateful for the opportunity to help care for my father. I love him and will do my best for him. But it is difficult in many ways and that is why I am grateful for a wonderful 'cup filling' General Conference followed by a wonderful 'cup filling' Time Out for Women. I am richly blessed.
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