Changing Formats...

I have determined I am going to give a try to keeping my journal in a more private fashion. It has been good for me to do this Blog to actually make a journal. I have tried before but, until I started this one, I was never successful. I believe journaling is more a part of me now and I will keep it up. 

I started this Blog in October 2008. It has contained my experiences as a wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, friend, and all the other pieces of my life. If anything was too personal, I have always kept that record separate from this Blog. 

I have shared travels. I will probably continue to do that. I believe those entries are helpful if someone searches and wants to know what to expect on a trip. 

I looked at the stats on this Blog. The majority of my viewers are from Singapore. I don't even know anyone in Singapore and have never been there. I have 1678 Blog entries. Wow. 

So, I leave this page and let you know I will use it for travel experiences for now. If I find that I really should come back to this format for keeping my journal, I will do that. But, for now, I am going to journal in a more private fashion. 

They Twain Shall Be One Flesh...

Matthew 19:5 ...For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.

My mind had pondered a lot on the blessings and struggles of marriage this last week. It has been two months since Claude had his surgery. An experience like this can often make a marriage better or it can weaken it severely. I have been blessed to experience great joy as Claude and I have gone through this experience. It has been comforting to be able to talk about all that one goes through in these kinds of experiences. The possible things to help healing, the concerns when something is not quite like you think it should be, the happiness of realizing each little bit of healing. It has felt so good to be able to talk frankly and openly with each other. So, with all these experiences, my mind had pondered on the things that marriages go through. 

Today, Monday, August 14th, is the 8th anniversary of our first-born grandmonster. The first picture is was taken on their wedding day. The second picture was taken August 6th. In these short eight years they have had four children, numerous pets, purchased a home, and struggle constantly to make ends meet. This is young married life as it begins to flourish. 

I so remember when Claude and I purchased our first home. We had no money for a down payment. We went to my parents, who were not in a great financial position. My mother had a savings account at her work with $500 in it. She closed that account and loaned us the $500 to purchase our first home. We moved into our little home in Denver, Colorado with three kids. We had pets from fish, to turtles to dogs. And we struggled financially to balance the cost of a home and raising kids on Claude's income. I helped by teaching piano lessons in my home and delivering Johnny Appleseed bags full of coupons to individual homes. I planned menus for each week and carefully bought groceries with that small amount of food budget. Claude worked full-time, had a part-time job at Shakey's Pizza and went to school to get his college education. Life was a struggle. But we did it together and it made us stronger together. We definitely had rough times, but we knew we really loved each other. We wanted it to work. So we tried to do the things that make life work...together.

I know another couple where the wife has left the husband. From all outward appearances, you would think this family with three kids is a happy family. Clearly, there must have been problems. Their path was to separate. Their little ones now have a difficult time living between two parents.

I have watched our daughter and son-in-law prepare for that next step as their son leaves for college in a couple of weeks. They will have their daughter home for two more years, but life is and will be different than when they were little kids. They have and will continue for the next two years with the joys of having teenagers. I often hear mothers of little children complain about how hard it is. If they could only see what lies ahead with teenagers. They are good years. But you are at the point where you let them fly away a bit to learn to have independence in a big way. If they fail, they have a safe spot to come home to so they can prepare to exercise their wings and independence again. Then, before you know it, they are out of your home and into adulthood for real. You are found with that "empty nest" you always longed for. This is where you really find out if you have feed that marriage of yours so that it is ready for just the two of you again. It won't be like it was when you were first in love and starting out. It will be a more mature kind of love. Hopefully you have kept having time to yourselves as a couple so you have things in common and really enjoy being together. This is an interesting time in a marriage. 

I have another friend who has learned his wife definitely has dementia. He still has a medical practice to run. The changes that are coming for him are demanding and draining, physically, mentally, emotionally and financially. Having gone through this with my parents, I understand from a daughter/caregiver position what he will have to do. I am sure with this being his much-loved wife, there are things he will feel and experience that I didn't. When I talk with him, I can tell he is struggling. One can offer suggestions, assurances, prayers. But the struggle will be his and his children's to bear the brunt of. I remember how my need to spend so much time caring for my parents drained Claude and me. We worked at being sure we were close during this time. I remember Claude taking over the cooking duties as the years wore on. That one thing lightened my load so much. He plotted the grocery runs and did them. He planned and cooked the meals and cleaned up after. Not having that on my radar was such a blessing. It might be something different for other couples, but the need to find the thing you can do to help your spouse through these tough times is so very important and strengthens your relationship.

Yesterday Claude and I attended the visitation of Billy Wilson and today we attended his funeral. Billy and Jo Carol lived in Eagle Bend in Sadieville when we retired and moved there. Jo Carol was the first person to come to our home with a little house warming gift to welcome us to Eagle Bend and Sadieville. Billy and Jo Carol had each been married for years to other people. Their spouses each passed away. Then Billy and Jo Carol married. They were married for 32 years. Billy's son from his first marriage spoke at the funeral. He shared how important Jo Carol was to Billy. He shared that Billy was an early riser. When Jo Carol would come into the kitchen in the morning and find him, he would say, "There is my blessing." That, my friends, is how a man should look at his wife. She should look at him the same way. 

Tuesday, August 8th, Claude and I went to the Louisville Kentucky Temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I took this picture as we walked to enter the temple. We were married 53 years ago in the Logan Utah LDS Temple. As we left the temple that evening, Claude and I commented how we felt pure joy at having attended the temple.

Thursday, August 10th, Claude had an appointment with Miracle Ear to check his hearing aids. He went on his own. He went to Lowe's after to get things to take the rust off a metal heart and then paint it red so we can nail it to our fairy garden tree. This metal heart was found when they cut the tree down and I kept it and wanted to put is back on the tree. Claude got the materials to get that heart ready to hang. As he was going out of Lowe's, this beautiful plant caught his eye. He bought it and brought it home to me. It is a black-eyed Susan. This was the Maryland state flower. We lived in Maryland for 20 years. Isn't it lovely?

I was so happy to get this beautiful flower. Claude set to work getting the rust off the heart. The rust had really weakened that metal and it broke as he worked with it. Now Claude has found a coat hanger and will make me a new metal heart. He will paint it red because he knows that is my vision of this heart. Then he will hang it on the tree and we'll enjoy it for years to come. 

These are the things that make marriage at our age, well, any age really, good and sweet. Thoughtful gestures. Kind words like please, thank you, you did a great job, what a good idea and the all important, I Love You!! 

The surgery and its effects are hard for Claude. He has relied on me to help him through. As I reflect on this experience, I realize that Claude did all these things for me the two times I had major surgery in our marriage and the time I fell and ruined my top gum and teeth. I didn't worry. I knew he would be there, he would love me no matter what. 

I am grateful that this experience has brought us closer together. We are a great team. We twain are one flesh and will be so for eternity. I love that thought. It has been good to reflect, ponder and realize again all these things during this week.

Time for a Quick Road Trip in Kentucky...Day 4, The Journey Home...

All journey's must come to an end. This Quick Kentucky Road Trip would have to do the same. Thursday, August 3rd, we pointed the Buick toward Georgetown for the drive home. We filled those cups with our liquid of choice and ate our bagels for breakfast again this morning as we started our journey home. 

The plan was to try the Kentucky Country Music Highway. That is basically Hwy 23 going north from Prestonsburg. We had done the southern portion going back and forth to Pikeville. 

However, our day promised to be a wet one.

We would have bits of sunshine as the day wore on, but it was foggy and wet to begin. We wanted to visit Butcher Holler where Loretta Lynn was raised. This was about 30 minutes from Prestonsburg. Now, I made this trip by myself years ago when Claude was at Jenny Wiley Resort for training. As we drove these winding little roads way back into the hills, Claude was amazed I did this by myself. I assured him I had a bit of Mimi's blood in me that leads me to do things like this. 

You first visit Webb's Store. This is owned by the family. You are supposed to pay $5 per person to visit the home site. However, Webb's Store was closed as it was when I visited alone. We head up Butcher Holler further anyway and found the home place. There is now a locked gate and we could only get this much of a glimpse. 

We were okay with all of this. Claude wound his way back to Highway 23. I found a bit of a different way so we were still headed north and didn't have to backtrack. Then we followed Hwy 23 to I-64. Along that road we passed this imposing power plant.

Once on I-64, we drove on to a Hardee's in Grayson for a spot of lunch. Little did I know that now Hardee's has collectable ketchup packets!!

We arrived back in Georgetown and took all that junk mail out of the mailbox. It was nice to be back in our home. You really appreciate what you create as your home after being away from it for a few days. We had a great trip. We found out Claude is up for a bit of traveling. Another milestone in his recovery. We totally enjoyed seeing and learning new things. Had some great meals at different places. It was good fun for us to Be On the Road Again!!

Time for a Quick Road Trip in Kentucky...Day 3...

Wednesday, August 2nd, would be the longest day of touring for us. We started our day with our cups full of ice, soda or water, and a bagel in our hands as we drove from Prestonsburg to Pikeville. 

This is a timeline of the feud. 

First we would visit the eastern Kentucky Hatfield/McCoy sites.

In Pikeville we turned north on Hwy 119 in search of Aunt Betty's home on the Tug River. 

Roseanna McCoy was Randolph McCoy's daughter. She was beautiful. He took her to an election day where she met Johnsie Hatfield, Devil Anse Hatfield's son. He was handsome and quite a lady's man. This meeting would exacerbate a chain of events that had been in motion. Randolph and Devil Anse were original settlers to the area. They were both good men who had been friends. They fought in the Civil War together but that would also begin their feud. They were leaders in their community, sort of Elder Statesmen if you will. By the time in the story their kids meet, this feud was well established and the hatred very strong between the two families. Roseanna and Johnsie are smitten with each other. Through a turn of events, Roseanna is left at the election fun with Johnsie and her family returns home thinking she has returned home with others in their party that left at different times. Roseanna ends up at night with no family to take her home. Johnsie takes her to his home where her reception is polite but cold. She ends up staying there as her father now wants nothing to do with a daughter who has spent a night with the Hatfield's. Roseanna will become pregnant with Johnsie's child. They are not married. Great shame for each family. Roseanna will go to her Aunt Betty's home along the Tug River and live there, giving birth to a baby girl. The little one will get the measles and that leads to pneumonia from which she will succumb. Roseanna's baby will be buried at Aunt Betty's. 

As we drove along the Tug River, I was fascinated that almost every home was on top of a full solid foundation. You always had to go up stairs to get to the living area. It reminded me of the flooding in these hollows that is very destructive. I am sure this way of building is an effort to deal with living in a flood plain that will most likely flood. 

The hollows are very narrow with a stream or creek running through them. The homes have very little yard and are often set right on the only street running through the little communities. The mountain walls are behind each side of the road behind the houses. I took this picture in Hardy, Kentucky. 

Our favorite stop of the day would be at the McCoy homeplace. This was the site of their original home that the Hatfield's would burn down. It is in Hardy, Kentucky. The man who owns the spot is named Neil Warren. He is a HUGE Hatfield/McCoy history buff. He knows family members, has visited with them, they have given him real artifacts from their family history. When he bought his home, he knew it was the site of the McCoy's original home. There is a gravel parking area across the street from his home in which to park. Then you are invited by signage to walk up his driveway and into the backyard of his next door neighbor. There are three homes there and they have an easement for the hill behind the middle home where the homesite was located. Neil arrived home as we were parking and looking at the situation to see what we could actually visit. He parked his car in his garage and came out and called to me to come on over and visit. Claude joined me and we visited with Neil. He is on his third book where visitors list their names. Whenever he is home, he shares his vast knowledge of this entire bit of history. He told us where there were errors in the History Channel documentary. He shared the errors in some of the sites we visited. He shared family photos he has been given and the stories behind them. Claude said it was like getting a drink from a firehose. It was a delight. Then we walked to the home site. 

This marker for a cemetery was in the gravel parking lot. I couldn't imagine where anyone was buried. Neil had watched me try to figure it out. When we talked with him he explained the situation. The actual cemetery was down the road a bit. It was owned by a man with the last name of Vance. The Vance in the Hatfield/McCoy feud was on the side of the Hatfield's. This current day Vance will not allow anyone on the property to visit the cemetery. In fact, when the historical society approached him about putting this marker on the site, he refused. Note, it is a McCoy cemetery. So, the historical marker is in the gravel parking lot down the road from the actual cemetery. Through legal proceedings, Vance finally agreed that the McCoy family could come on his property two times each year to visit the graves of their ancestors. At no other time are they allowed at the cemetery. I am thinking there is still some people with a lot of pent-up emotion about this feud to this day. Although, we didn't really feel that anywhere we visited. If Neil hadn't explained it to us, we would not have known of this situation. 

This home is Neil's home and if you look up the hill between the two houses, that is the actual homesite of the original McCoy home. 

This is Blackberry Creek. You will here of this in the story and a community named after the creek. 

This is Neil Warren. I very nice man who loves sharing his personal knowledge of this part of American history. 

Claude walking to the well. It is still a well that could be used today. 

Randolph McCoy statue.

There is a lovely meadow that goes up the hill to the side of where the home would have been. Neil shared that they knew exactly where to place their home. It gets good morning sun. It has a nice breeze coming through this meadow. If they opened windows in their home, they would have had good, cool air. 

From the statue of Randolph McCoy and the well, you can see Claude standing where the home would have been built against the hill. The meadow was to Claude's right.

View from the well site back down to Neil's home. 

Next we drove to a cabin that was the site of the Hog Trial as well as where the two elections that fit into the story were held. The cabin was in great disrepair and the historical society has restored the cabin. They used the original steps up to the cabin front. The children's footprints can still be found in these steps. Another neat fact Neil shared with us. 

The people raised hogs that roamed the hills eating nuts. In the fall, the families gathered their hogs and brought them in. Several were chosen for fattening for winter food. All their hogs had their ears clipped in a way that noted each family. A big part of the feud came when Randolph found one of his hogs on a Hatfield's property. The accusations led to a trial in this home. A jury of 6 Hatfield's and 6 McCoy's decided it was a Hatfield pig. This only deepened the feud. 

The first election is where Johnsie and Roseanna met and fell in love. The second election ended with a fight between the Hatfield's and McCoy's. A Hatfield was mortally wounded and that led to three McCoy sons being captured and eventually killed by the Hatfield's. 

On to the Paw Paw Tree incident. The three McCoy brothers were taken to West Virginia by the Hatfield's. They were told they would be released if their family member lived. If he died, they would be killed. Sally McCoy, their mother, would come and plead on bended knee with Devil Anse to release her boys and stop the killing. Devil Anse promised her he would bring her boys alive back to Kentucky. His relative did die. He brought the McCoy boys back across the Tug River alive. They were tied to Paw Paw Trees and executed. Devil Anse kept his promise to bring them to Kentucky alive. Then he killed them. 

From here we crossed the Tug River into West Virginia at Matewan. Then followed the roads across King Coal Highway and north on Hwy 44 to the last home of Devil Anse Hatfield and the Hatfield cemetery. Other than Claude being pulled over for speeding as he coasted down one of the many mountains, we had a lovely ride. He was only given a warning...thank goodness.

The road was blocked so we did not climb the hill to the cemetery. 

At the homeplace of Devil Anse Hatfield, there was a shop with a little museum and a nice little covered area that served barbeque. We opted to have a light bite to carry us till dinner. 

We returned to Kentucky the way we came with only one missed road. Thankfully my car does U-turns and we were able to find our way. 

One of the very first stories in the feud is the killing of Asa Harmon McCoy. He returns from the Civil War and is shot at for his choice of sides in the war. He hides out in a cave away from his family to keep them safe. He will be hunted down and killed. And...there goes the feud.

There is a monument to the Hatfield's and McCoys. 

Time to try for a good Chinese dinner. We had noticed a Peking Buffet in Pikeville. We returned to Pikeville and located that restaurant and had a wonderful Chinese dinner. 

Where's Claudo??

Back to Prestonsburg for another good night's sleep before our journey home.