Sunday, May 1, 2022, was a relaxing day at the Tyler home. Literally sat and visited and did nothing major this day. It was a bit of heaven. Todd set up his pellet grill and smoked a brisket for the first time and also did some ribs and baby potatoes. Nissa made a salad like a potato salad but used cauliflower instead. She also had some Don Ray casserole she heated up. It was absolutely delicious. Other than their dog, Baby, running away for a bit, the day was very low-key.
Tuesday, May 3, 2022, was Papa's birthday. We left Chelsea and drove home in rain most of the way. Arrived in time for me to go visit Papa in the afternoon. I sang Happy Birthday to him. Toward the end he realized what I was doing and started to smile. He just doesn't hear and can't hardly see so it take a bit some times for it to sink in. I took him molasses crinkle cookies I purchased at the Amish store in Holton, Michigan. He loved every single bite. This is what I posted on Facebook for Papa's birthday: "Today someone very important in my life turns 94 years old. He has led a full life, a good life. Vernon Nelson Lawrence is a great father. Happy Birthday, Papa!! Love Ya Bunches!!"
I visited Papa after my haircut. While I was gone, Claude set to work getting the rocks in his bed around the HVAC unit. When I came home, this was what I found. It looks so nice. Claude does great work.
Saturday, May 7, 2022, was Derby Day. We didn't watch all the race on television. We did watch the Derby race at 6:57pm. There were 20 horses in this race. That is a lot of horses!! One scratched and the was an opening until a certain time on Friday. Another trainer entered his horse, Rich Strike, before that deadline. The first trainer for this horse was Bob Baffert. Bob Baffert's horse won last year's Derby but was disqualified after testing the horses blood. Bob Baffert was also not allowed to enter any horses in the Derby because of this irregularity. It was really a discouraging thing for the Derby. Since Bob couldn't be a trainer, his assistant was made the trainer for Rich Strike much earlier. This would be his first entry in the Kentucky Derby. Rich Strike was at the back of the pack of 20 horses as the race began. Then he gradually worked his way forward and found an opening and pulled ahead of two of the picks for winning. It was a spectacular race and I totally enjoyed watching it.
Sunday, May 8, 2022, was Mother's Day. Not my favorite day of the year. Never has been. I wonder at myself for not caring for this holiday. I remember my first Mother's Day. I was a beautician and had a regular client that I knew from Church. She had tried many times to have a baby and it always ended in a miscarriage. I remember aching for her and feeling self-conscious with my growing tummy as she endured another miscarriage that year as Mother's Day neared. It made such an impact on me. I believe we should honor mothers but I ache so for those who can't have children.
Claude is very sensitive to me on this day. We went to sacrament meeting. It was a really good meeting with three excellent speakers and a musical number by the Primary children singing the chorus and a Mother and Daughter singing the verses. When the meeting was over, they had a lunch for the ladies in the cultural hall and the men covered all the positions for the ladies. When I realized I didn't need to do anything for Primary, I found Claude and asked him if he was covering any of the classes. He was not. I told him it was time for him to take me to lunch. I truly did not want to be at that luncheon for the ladies. Claude and I drove through Panera and took our lunch home to eat. My Asian chicken salad was delicious. This allowed me to visit with Papa an hour earlier than normal Sundays. Claude took a nice nap. When I got home, we sat on our lovely patio for a while. Claude suggested an ice cream run might be in order. We drove to Dairy Queen and I enjoyed a Girl Scout Thin Mint Cookie Blizzard. Jake called as we were finishing up our blizzards. He sang Happy Mother's Day to me. This is always the highlight of my day. Later, at home, Hayden called and we talked. Then I talked with Bailey. Finally I talked with Andie. Claude and I watched a Psych. It was a very low-key day and just the kind I need on Mother's Day.
When Claude and I returned home from our ice cream run, we walked around to the side of our home to inspect a bush that grows really tall between our two bedroom windows. It is a lilac bush and had purple flowers bursting out all over it! Score!! Claude wanted a lilac bush in our yard.
Monday, May 9, 2022, I had an appointment with Dr. Fine. He is my podiatrist. I had what I knew to be an ingrown toenail. He had removed one about a year before. I thought it would be the same thing. Alas, this one was all the way down to the nail bed. He had to do a little in-the-office surgery and remove a strip along the side of the nail on my right big toe. It will take about two weeks for it to heal. I had my phone out and Dr. Fine suggested I just lay back and play with my phone while he worked. I had to let him know I was a picture taker and intended to photograph this experience. As I think about it, that is probably not something he gets a lot from patients! Here is my pictorial journey.
Papa: I am watching my father dwindle away. His life is pretty much spent in his bed. He can't roll over. He can't hardly see. He can't hardly hear. His left arm is useless. He often believes I am my mother. It is so difficult to watch this happen to him. He sleeps a lot. I go everyday to visit him. I take him a treat to eat and a little can of root beer to drink. He makes it through these things and they seems to be a good thing for him. I play music through an ear bud in his ear so that he can hear it. I wish there was more I could do to ease his pain. If I touch his feet or his arm, he winces with pain. On Mother's Day as I sat visiting Papa, Jody, the big male nurse, came in to wish me a happy Mother's Day. He commented on all the visitors on this day. He said that people who never come to visit their family member suddenly show up. I learned that Herman, Papa's room mate, is a ward of the state. He has no family or friends that ever visit him. It made me doubly grateful for the kind words spoken by those who care for Herman. I learned that Hayes Tuttle, Papa's former room mate has a son that lives in Georgetown and works at Toyota. He never comes to see his father. Never. To me this is appalling. Hayes is the nicest man to everyone. He always has a kind word and a thank you for anything done for him. Again, I was grateful for all the staff that speak tenderly and kindly to Tuttle when they work with him. I am grateful we live even closer to the nursing home now. I am grateful I can get in to visit with Papa each day. I can hold his hand and he will squeeze my hand. I can give cheerful greetings to the other residents so they feel like someone outside the nursing home cares for them. People complain about nursing homes. I really think we should look at the number of residents that have no family visiting them regularly, not even once a week. Then think of all those who work in a nursing home and how kind they are to residents as they care for them. Our focus can be skewed by what media tells us being in a nursing home is like. I am grateful for those who care for Papa. I make sure every little deed they do in my presence is given a warm 'thank you'. I hope they know by my actions how much their loving care to my father means to me. Life can be hard. But there are blessings in all that hardness. True Tender Mercies.
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