A Comment...

Had a tearful start to my morning yesterday. I received a comment on a Blog post I did from April 2011. The Blog post was titled "Mother Dear I Love You So". It was about a visit with my mother in the nursing home.

This is the comment I received:

Diane Haggart has left a new comment on your post "Mother Dear I Love You So....":

Wow I am so glad I came here as you just proved my point. I stumbled in to a negative feminist sight that was teaching about why all the mother songs were bad because it stated it compared them to flowers and beauty . I. just was looking for help for mothers day.
I said all moms are beautiful to little kids just like all moms are beautiful when they are old as well . you made me think of my dear mother before she passed.I m so glad there other sisters out there that think like I do
Thank you I needed this Sister Haggart

I opened up my Blog post and read it. It was one of those moments I needed to reflect on. I put many of these in my Blog as we tread the journey of Alzheimer's. I entered these posts for me to have to reflect on that journey. I wanted to end it by remembering all the positive things that happened, not just the bad things.

I was touched that after all this time Diane (whom I do not know) went back in my Blog entries somehow and found that post to read and it gave her an uplift. I'm more grateful she took time to type me a note about her experience. Think of it...we can lift and help each other even when we are far away and don't know each other. That is truly a tender mercy.

Thanks Diane for drawing me back to re-read this entry about my mom and feel close to her again.

I sat yesterday afternoon visiting with my father. He shared with me a dream he had during the night. His face had more joy in it than I see usually. His eyes were bright with excitement and just pure joy at this dream. He said he was in a beauiful place somewhere, he did not know where. He was singing in a huge choir. He was just enjoying it so very much during the dream that his heart was full. Even as he shared it you could see he remembered every detail and it was still filling him with happiness. 

I asked him how he felt about the dream.  In my mind I'm seeing a heavenly choir in the hereafter. Papa is rid of this mortal body that won't do what he yearns to do, like singing in full voice again. I didn't want to plant that idea in Papa's head if it wasn't already there, but I was very curious if he had thought of that. All he could say in response to my question was, "I just felt happy!!"  And it showed in his face and eyes.

I visited a little lady from Church this week in her home. She is actually supposed to come to my home but I went to her's so it would be easier for her. We visited for a good while before I had to head to Papa's to check on him before teaching my Institute class that evening. Most of our visit was about her health concerns. As I left, she gave me a big hug and I hugged her right back. Then she said something about how much my visit to her meant. She was definitely lonely. She can drive and get out and about but she is still lonely.

I look at Papa and work with him and realize he is just lonely.  I think of Jim Parker at Church who lost his wife last year and he is also lonely. It is not that these people don't have some things that fill there lives, they have family that cares for each of them, but they are still lonely.

I hope I'm always sensitive to that feeling in others. I feel it in myself sometimes and I think that is silly. I have a hubby that fills my life, I have family and dear friends, I have involvement in my Church and community. My life is far from being empy and without human interaction. But I think we all feel lonely sometimes. I just think it is a much more intense version when you have lost your spouse.

I'm rambling but I want to record and remember this understanding about being lonely and the need for me to remember and be kind to others who are lonely. Life is an interesting journey and sometimes, writing these things down so we can reflect on them, remember them better because they have gone from our mind through our fingers to the page, and draw strength then from re-reading them is very important.  I think often of giving up this Blog and then someone like Diane reminds me that we just might lift and serve someone else by a little action that we many never even know touched someone if they don't send you that little note saying 'thanks'.

Thank you Diane for your little note. I'll Blog on a little longer...